The State Of Marriage In America

Marriages Are In Crisis In America

Broken-HeartNo I am not writing about the redefinition of marriage in America or the culture wars. The crisis that I speak of is divorce, infidelity,  and perpetual discord in so many Christian Marriages. I am not going to throw statistics at you, we all know and many have personally experienced a marriage crisis or others contending for the survival of the 2nd or 3rd marriage.

preventativemainWhenever I do pre-marital counseling with a couple, I always leave them with this exhortation: “You wouldn’t spend thousands upon your dream car and only wash the outside. No, you’d follow the manufacture’s preventative maintenance schedule. Only changes, belts, hoses, and 30,000, 60,000, 90,000 mile maintenance. Yet when it comes to a marriage most couples spend a ton on the wedding, work diligent to keep up external appearances and never invest in regular “Preventative Maintenance.” No, usually they only seek help when the crisis is so large that divorces appears to be imminent. Oh, friends are implore you invest in your marriage.  So many resources are available.  

Marriage isn’t a sprint but a Marathon to the finish. Invest, train, & grow!


Yearly: Go on a marriage retreat/weekend seminar. I know you don’t have the time there are a thousand reasons not to…just do it. 

Quarterly: Read articles, books or watch video seminars. Most people will invest hours in Continuing Education for their careers or developing their hobbies. If you read for books on marriage and relationship growth every year you’ll be amazed how much you can grow.  If you give your marriage the same energy and zeal you give to improving your golf game or scrapbooking you’re gonna see a tremendous ROI.

Weekly: Date your mate! It doesn’t have to cost money. You might have to get creative if your house is still crawling with “littles”…just do it.

Daily: Pray together. That’s right husbands pray with your wife. Even if you believe she is “more spiritual.” Too many passively cede their leadership role in this area. We hear this over and over from wives, this simple spiritual act will pay dividends in your relationship.

Don’t be ashamed to see a professional. Sometimes that’s a Pastor other times it could be a marriage and family professional. You should be seeing a Dr. for regular check ups, and small surprises not just when you need to call 911. The same is true of your marriage, get a check up once in awhile. Don’t wait until your covenant is on “life support.”

Remember your marriage is God ordained and He is in the midst of your covenant. Since it is God ordained it can also be God sustained. However, We can’t do God’s part and He won’t do our part. Invest in one another today. Here’s some resources we love. You’re gonna get good at this! 

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